Most testimonial sections are so boring they should be called “testy-moan-y’alls”.
It’s “So and So is great…blah, blah, blah…” or “I highly recommend Mr./Ms. So and So because he/she…” So in the effort to keep you awake – and reading- I’m going to do something different. Here’s how it works. Some of these testimonials are for real. Some are made up. And you get to guess which ones are which. If you guess all of them correctly, your prize is that you get to do business with me. If you don’t get any of them right, your prize is that you get to do business with me. Yeah, I know. It’s a trick. Either way you get to do business with me. But hey, at least you get to have fun while you vet someone, so that can’t be all bad, right?
Oh yeah, one more thing. If you actually want to get in on the fun, you can send me your testimonials – real or imagined – via facebook: Les Maness or Email LesManess@ultimateimpact.com, and if they aren’t illegal, immoral or fattening, I might just add them to the list.
“They call me a genius? Ha! This guy is the real genius!”
— Albert Einstein
“Les Maness may be one of the best kept secrets in the industry as a writer, photographer and magazine creator. And with amazing cover models like these, it’s no wonder.”
— Glen and Becki Polcyn, Vemma Elite Leaders
“In addition to utilizing Les Maness’s skills for many years as a writer, photographer and marketing communications consultant, I featured him as a guest on my radio program. And yes, he has a face that was made for radio.”
— Garvin DeShazer, Sheffield Resource Network
“I honestly can’t think of anyone I’d rather work with. Honestly.”
— Abraham Lincoln
— Steve Hilburn, Imagineer Media Group
“I was looking for electricity and he told me to go fly a kite. I was shocked. Literally shocked.”
— Benjamin Franklin
“We love working with Les Maness because he likes to give everyone the VIP treatment too.”
— Mai Yahn, Executive Vice President, VIP Mortgage Inc.
“The minute that Les started telling me his creative thoughts, the light bulb went on.”
— Thomas Edison
“Les has been a writer, photographer, marketing communications consultant and a trainer for me for years. I love everything about working with him – except when he makes me do lunges. Then I want to strangle him. Just saying.”
— Jodi Low, President and Founder of U & Improved
“I am so glad I discovered him too.”
— Christopher Columbus
“Unlike me, he never comes up short.”
“I always keep my ear open to his ideas.”
— Vincent van Gogh
“Les advised me not to paint the Sistine Chapel. He was right. Too much overhead.”
“This guy is a great writer. You can quote me on that.”
— William Shakespeare
“I like the way his ideas evolve. No monkey business there.”
— Charles Darwin
“He understands the gravity…of deadlines. And I love how he nicknamed me ‘Fig”.”
— Isaac Newton
“He weeps when he has no more words to conquer.”
— Alexander the Great
“He talked me into branding a deliciously crispy food group. You’re welcome.”
“He told me not to cut my hair. Should have listened. But hey, after it grew back I brought the house down.”
“I’d love to write with him, but unfortunately never the Twain shall meet.”
— Mark Twain
“Les is such a positive guy, I’m scratching my head to come up with a way to change my book title from ‘Les Miserables’ to ‘Les Happyables’.”
— Victor Hugo
“He can write like the Dickens. And yes, when you can rock a hairdo like this, you too can refer to yourself in the third person.”
— Charles Dickens
“I went looking for better marketing, but now I’m a ravin’ fan who has to search ‘nevermore’.”
— Edgar Allan Poe
“This guy is gooood. And you know, I can not tell a lie.”
— George Washington.
“He doesn’t fiddle around. I really need to work on that.”
“He believes in me and I believe in him.”
— Santa Claus
“The thing I admire most about him is that he never loses his head.”
— Ichabod Crane
“When it came to my project, it was like, ‘Stop. Hammer time. Can’t touch this.’ ‘”
“He’s very loyal and won’t stab you in the back like…uh…some friends will.”
— Julius Caesar
Les has been instrumental in helping me create my website. He’s shot photos, inspired ideas, coached me on copy and helped me with branding. So now when I tell him to go take a hike, I actually mean it in a nice way.
“There were times when he was a teenager that we had our doubts, but now we’re glad we let him live.”
— His older, wiser sisters, Vivian and Norene.